Shillig 4 Family

I realize more and more that I live a privileged life. I live a life unlike most in the world will ever live. It feels “normal” in the United States to live this way, but each day I am reminded just how big my piece of the pie is. A husband who loves me through it all. 5 amazing babies who think I hung the moon. And the feeling that nothing is outside my reach. I look at pictures I take of my kids and hope they know how good they have it. I look at pictures of my kids realize all my dreams have come true in this life. They are “spoiled fresh” as Jake says and I will do everything I can for that to continue for them. This is the American Dream.

Swimming at our house brings me so much joy! I knew when we bought our house I wanted good schools and a pool. I love that our kids get so much use our of the pool & enjoy the sun every chance they get. When I came home from work yesterday they all showed me their sunburns from the walks and the pool. Poor little Leila Jin got her first sun exposure since she was born in cold weather.  Her little legs were sun kissed when I came home. I ordered her a float so that when the water warms up she can join her siblings and Daddy while I’m at work. What a blessing it is to have such a nice home to be quarantined in.

Family walks have become part of our daily quarantine routine. The kids love it, Zelda loves it, and Leila Jin gets everyone to excitedly push her around. Jake and I have different paces for walking.   I like slow to medium and to randomly explore. Jake likes fast to faster to make it an aerobic activity. I can’t wait til we can get back to walking around new found places together on vacation. I can’t wait til we can do these walks into the unknown with our kids in new places. I loved our explorations in Paris and longingly think back to when we could visit places without the fear of Corona. I am feeling down and sad about how things have changed in our world. Maybe they are forever changed, but maybe this will all be over soon. I just don’t think it’ll all be better by Easter like President Trump hopes. But, here’s to family time, family walks, and a life full of down time.

Leila Jin is 5 months old now. I have been terrible at blogging about her milestones. I can’t even blame Instagram because I haven’t done it all there either. She has two teeth (that she got at 4 months). She can roll over from her back to tummy, but doesn’t seem to roll back unless she’s aimed downhill on our bed. She LOVES her “cloud” as we’ve lovingly nicknamed our bed where she prefers to sleep. She has handled me going to work well I feel like. This means she takes a bottle now and Daddy taught her to hold it! She is always along for the ride because her siblings are busy and older. She handles it like a champ and they are over the moon happy with her all the time. She is our pride and joy. She is her siblings source of big smiles when they see her smiling face! She is always smiling and I love her extra soft skin. Daddy loves her “Popeye” forearms. I love her curl on top of her head. Leila Jin we are so grateful for yo...

Mali Su is determined.   Determined to be so good at all she does.   She loves having many friends & is finding her place in her skipped a grade life at the middle school. She loves to try new things and is always altering her schedule at school to learn all she can (but still keeping choir where she is a great singer). Mali Su has a tendency to overshare so we are working on what you tell the world and what you don’t with her & I think we are making progress! She makes sure she has all As at school. She is a pacer when she runs and makes sure she doesn’t sprint too early on long runs. She has been going to physical therapy because her knee cap “slips” out of place and it’s so scary, but she is getting better at taking care of it. She is so good at taking care of Leila Jin while I am at work.   She has read all kinds of baby knowledge online and this makes her an “expert” on all things LJ. Mali Su is so capable, smart, and will do...

Aimi Lark is so tall now.  I look at her and see the future of her, the adult, the grown-up.  This makes me smile and confused all at the same time.  She is super talented with hair and knitting.  I love her artistic side. She has a short attention span sometimes with Leila Jin and asks to hold her just to give her back shortly after, but she always wants to come in my room to love on her and give me a hug. She has been sneaky since she was about 4 years old.  She will bring snacks (she loves white cheddar cheezits) in the electronics room while she plays SIMS on her laptop and while these aren’t make or break mistakes it makes me a little crazy. I sometimes think I need to have less rules because then the rules aren’t broken, but I think she and I are getting to a better understanding of my expectations (that I know are high for my kids). Aimi Lark is so smart. Aimi Lark gets such great grades at school. Aimi Lark is a loyal friend. Aimi Lark s...

I find myself feeling more frazzled today about exposure to the virus. I flip between thinking our reaction if we tested positive would be something we could handle at home to, “what if they can’t take care of us at the hospital” and then I get scared. I think is LJ too small to handle it?  Am I exposing her when I nurse her?  Or am I helping her with the immunities in breast milk? I worry that by coming back to work I have exposed our family to unnecessary germs. But, if I don’t work I worry I expose our family to financial hardships. It is like you try your best and second guess it all, but normally I feel like I make the best choices. I just don’t like when there is not an obvious right answer whether it’s good or bad. I am just sad about all of this. I am just scared by all of this. I just wish the SBA would handle this by sending as many of us home as possible instead of keeping us here unnecessarily. It’ll be okay, it always is somehow. I just wis...

We have been social distancing for quite sometime now.  Officially since March 13 th but we didn’t go anywhere that week for spring break so it feels like 3 weeks since we left home.  I bought plenty of groceries and we love to be home together.  On March 18 th I said yes to coming back to work at the SBA and ended up starting the next day. Today, they reported the first case of Coronavirus (COVID-19) in the mailroom.  It is one building over, but I still feel like the exposure is greater than they are saying.  We still feel like it is okay for me to work here. We are trying to make the best financial decision for our family because who knows how long this situation with our economy and world will last. The kids school started reaching out this week to start back to school online on the 30 th so that adds in more moving parts, but it’s doable. I have the kids buddied up so that the girls can make sure the boys take care of their assignments....

This past week was spring break for the kids.  We decided not to go anywhere and lay low and have LOTS of friend playdates.  It was perfect, but then things started to change all around us.  The things we had been hearing about from China since January from Jake's Chinese contacts and friends, Corona Virus.  Schools all around us began to shut down.  We made the decision that no matter what our district did that our kids would be staying home from school.  We canceled Jake's birthday party and everything else we had planned for the weekend.  Then we got word, school was canceled for two more weeks.  I felt such a sense of relief and was overcome with a peace and happiness I had never felt before.  The world for me had stopped.  Everything froze and it felt different than the week of Spring break we had just had.  That week was full of doing and going.  This now is full of staying in and refreshing our souls while keeping the v...